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A couple of months ago I decided to try online dating for the second time. I started out way more optimistic than I did the first time around, mainly due to the fact that I met a great guy after 8 dates.
This time around has not been so easy. I have received a lot of interest and have gone on a number of dates, but there were a lot of guys who didn’t make it to a date.
Personally I think guys should use casual conversation when emailing, this makes the woman want to talk to him. I have had a lot of guys send – ‘hey what are you doing’, or I DO NOT like typing, here is my number. Taking this approach is the equivalent of approaching a girl in a pub, giving her your number and asking her to call. How often do you think the girl would call? I would say rarely! The same applies to online dating. The secret is to get the girl to want to talk to you with fun conversation. This doesn’t have to take a long time and it is worth it, to meet the right person. The hey how you doing is just ‘blah’. Also very long emails with your life story is too much information, too soon.
Here are some of the approaches that did not get a date:
- The guy who pre-stalked me and told me about it. I realise a lot of people will look you up, but when they tell you they did, it is creepy. This guy told me my full name, my business and my phone number. It actually freaked me out how easy it is to find information. He told me he had serious trust issues – which is not a great basis for a relationship.
- The guy who said he doesn’t waste his time talking on line and asked for sex. This one happens all too often.
- The guy who told me he was retired as he was not good at dealing with stress or people.
- The guy who said it was a pity he couldn’t come around to my house in a G-string and clean – EWW!
- The guy who tried to say romantic things as he believed that was what I wanted to hear. I am happy with romance after meeting a couple of times, but it comes across as creepy from a stranger.
- The guy who said I was up early, like him and he wished he was staring in my eyes while I was lying in his arms. Also creepy when I hadn’t met him!
- I was away for around 3 weeks for work/pleasure and I had a guy who got annoyed at too many emails and said I needed to meet him or not email. He missed the point, I wasn’t in Perth so I couldn’t meet him, I could only email him.
Now don’t get me wrong I think it is good that guys approach women and I understand that the initial approach may be hard. But the approach that will always work is light hearted, fun conversation. Remember if you wouldn’t say it face2face, then don’t say it online.
In my next blog I will share my experience of the dates I went on.
Happy dating.
Debbie xxx
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