Finally: The First 5 Dates!


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Finally I will tell you about my 5 dates!!!
KELV8319
1.       My first date was a guy I met at the Aviary,  where I gave him a dating card. Ha I know I said I would make a special effort not to meet guys this way but I didn’t intend to go on a date with him!!!! Anyway he told me I was a scammer and was not single. No matter what I said he didn’t believe me. I was actually offended – as I am genuine and anything but a scammer! Eventually he explained why he acted the way he did and it made perfect sense. To cut a long story short the next day he called me and asked me out on a date. After my initial bad impression of him,  he seemed like a nice enough guy,  I also liked his date idea – dinner at the Royal and then watching the Glory play soccer. So I agreed to meet him.

I met him at the Royal where we enjoyed dinner and a couple of drinks, before walking to the game. He was a nice guy and was full of compliments, which was lovely. But over a one hour dinner he managed to share way too much personal information about his ex-wife, his children, finances and an accident.

After the date I did decide that even though I thought there was too much information I would go on a second date. You know give the benefit of the doubt and all that! I heard from him the Sunday after the date but then nothing all week until the Friday morning when he asked me if I would like to go for a walk in Kings Park. I replied saying that I already had plans but thanks for the offer. Then I didn’t hear anything from him until the Sunday saying he wished he could run into me! Which I found slightly odd – all he needed to do was ask me out again.

I decided not to catch up with him again.  I may have caught up if he had been texting me through the week and had gone to the effort of arranging a date sooner than on the day. But in the end the fact that I hadn’t heard from him combined with him over sharing  made me decide I didn’t want to see him again. Over sharing is a definite killer, there is plenty of time to talk about that sort of stuff.
2.       My next 4 dates were from online dating. When date 2 first arrived I admit I was apprehensive because I wasn’t a fan of what he was wearing! I did end up really enjoying his company and he made me laugh. Like most women I love a guy who makes me laugh! I have since met him for a 2nd date where I was happy to see he dressed well. I will catch up with him again for a 3rd date and will keep you posted on how it goes.

3.       My 3rd date was also great company and made me laugh.  I love meeting new people and genuinely enjoyed his company – I just couldn’t imagine being in a relationship with him. I do think it is weird who we do and don’t imagine ourselves being with. From my experience running D2D there is often no rhyme or reason for who people choose.

At this point I struggled with my own dating advice  – I tell people to give someone the benefit of 3 dates! Although in that advice I do tell people, there are instances where you just know it is a no.  I felt this was one of those instances.

He did ask me at the end of the date if I would like to see him again and I did say yes because quite honestly it is awkward to say no on the spot. I have said no in the past and had a guy argue with me that I still should see him again. Anyway I had to let him know via text that I didn’t want to catch up again – this is the part I TOTALLY hate about dating.
4.       My 4th date was also a great guy but I met him at a bad time in his life. He had injured himself and the injury was not healing so he wasn’t in the best place to date. Ha he did tell me he came because he had nothing better to do!  I could totally understand why he was down when we met and still managed to enjoy the date. One of the things I am looking for is someone who is happy in/with their life and is in a good place – this guy wasn’t. So we agreed to be friends.
5.       My 5th date was also a great guy. Due to timing I had been unable to meet him as soon as I would have liked so in the meantime we had texted and talked on the phone. When I met him I enjoyed his company and he also made me laugh but I couldn’t see myself being with him. Again I don’t think 3 dates would have helped. He texted me after the date saying he had the best time and would love to see me again. Unfortunately I had to let him know that as much as I had a great time there wasn’t that elusive ‘spark’. He was disappointed –I SO hate this part of dating it is horrible. The worst thing was as I had been talking and texting him a bit I actually missed him. That is why it is so much better to meet sooner rather than later.
While dating I am keeping an open heart and mind. I am very aware of  my patterns  and of the guys I have chosen in the past who I had chemistry with. These men were not good for me for a number of reasons and they  didn’t make me feel good. Nowadays I am clear of what I want and value in a relationship. One thing I am clear about is a relationship has to make me FEEL great.  I am looking for a guy who makes me feel amazing and I know that doesn’t always come from chemistry.
 Having said all of that I still couldn’t see myself with dates 3 or 5.
Anyway one out of five isn’t bad. Online dating is a process a bit like sorting  the wheat and the chaff for the person who perfectly fits you. The part I don’t like about it is telling great guys that I am not interested and I don’t want to sound like a picky ‘bit**ch’.
Sharing my actual dates feels a little bit vulnerable!
Anyway I will let you know how I go next week.

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